Here's how Rihanna would've Spent her Birthday if She were Arab
SOURCE: STEP FEED
BY: RAYANA KHALAF
Barbadian singer, songwriter, and businesswoman Rihanna celebrated her 31st birthday on Wednesday.
According to media reports, Riri raved it up with a birthday bash at Wally’s restaurant in Beverly Hills, California, on Tuesday night.
Since the superstar has not yet shared photos of the festivities on social media, we decided to envision how her birthday went on … with one *tiny* twist.
Here’s how Rihanna would have spent her birthday if she were Arab:
1. Oh-so-professional greeting cards would pour in on WhatsApp
The greeting cards would be screenshot from Google in an arbitrary manner, without cropping out unnecessary content from the search results. A+ for effort, though <3.
2. Her family would use up every opportunity to ask why she hasn’t gotten married
Being an unmarried 31-year-old, her long list of achievements goes out the window and her family only focuses on her relationship status, fearing she would become a 3anes (spinster).
So, the day would be filled with comments along the lines of “Emten badna nefra7 mennek?” (When will you make us happy by getting married?)
3. And remind her that Hassan Jameel is a wealthy “eben halal”
They would call her out for breaking up with her Saudi billionaire ex-boyfriend.
4. So she would post some passive aggressive tweets
“Whoever has a problem should just leave.”
5. She would dress extra AF
Her look would have people wondering if it’s her birthday or wedding day.
6. The family gathering would be all about food and shisha
Rihanna’s mama would go all out in hosting a family gathering to celebrate her daughter’s birthday.
She would prepare an excess of mouthwatering food, featuring Arab delicacies like shawarma, warak enab (stuffed vine leaves), and samosas. Of course, there would be shisha for everybody.
7. Aunties would comment on her figure
They would tell her,“Mashallah, jeye sa7tek,” which is – for some baffling reason – a socially-acceptable way to tell people they have gained weight.
(Sorry Riri, we love you thicc queen.)
8. She would flaunt her belly dancing skills
At the beginning of the party, she would claim she is too shy to dance. But, soon after, she would get into her zone and dance her heart (and hips) out.
9. “Happy birthday” would be sung in two languages … at least
Attendees would start off with the English version, followed by the Arabic version, and might go for another foreign language like French or Spanish. Multilingualism FTW!
10. She would cut the cake to Walid Toufic’s “Happy Birthday to You”
No Arab birthday is complete without this classic.