Piecing the Puzzle: Arab, American… or Perfectly In Between?

posted on: Aug 27, 2025

By: Laila Mamdouh / Arab America Contributing Writer

At first, identity feels simple. We grow up knowing exactly where we belong, puzzle pieces snug in their place, part of a picture that makes perfect sense. Then life takes us somewhere new, and suddenly our piece starts collecting new shapes and shades. It’s not a bad thing, in fact, it’s exciting. We learn, we adapt, we expand. But here’s the catch: when we try to click back into the old puzzle, we don’t fit quite the way we used to. And in the new puzzle, we stand out just enough to feel… different. That’s the Arab American story in a nutshell; always part of the picture, never the exact fit.

Life in the U.S. reshapes us in ways big and small. We picked up bits of American culture; the love for iced coffee year-round, the tendency to say “sorry” when someone else bumps into us, the confidence to argue with professors like it’s a competitive sport. These little add-ons stuck to our edges. At the same time, some corners chipped away. Maybe our Arabic got a little shaky, maybe Friday family lunches turned into occasional FaceTime calls. The puzzle piece was still recognizably “us,” but now it had a slightly different shape.

And then came the real plot twist: going back home. We thought we’d just click back in like nothing had changed. Instead, we found ourselves jiggling awkwardly, trying to squeeze into the same old puzzle. Suddenly, we were “too Western.” Too outspoken. Too individualistic. And too “Americanized.” The piece that used to slide in smoothly now stuck out just a little, and everyone noticed.

But of course, in the U.S., it works the other way around. Here, when we proudly hold on to our traditions, our food, our language, our faith and then we’re suddenly “too traditional.” Too Arab. Too different. Our piece doesn’t quite lock into this puzzle either. So we live in this weird in-between, walking around as puzzle pieces that don’t fully fit anywhere.

It’s like being told to “just be yourself” only to realize that “yourself” is too much for one space and not enough for another. We know the drill: back home, people tease us for throwing English words into every other sentence. In America, coworkers stare at us like we’ve brought something “mysterious” when we show up with grape leaves or molokhia for lunch. Either way, we’re the puzzle piece that makes people tilt their heads.

Now, this sounds like a dilemma, but here’s the funny thing: maybe it’s not a problem at all. Who said puzzles only work one way? Sure, we don’t fit neatly into one box or the other, but isn’t that what makes us interesting? We’ve got the best of both worlds glued onto our edges. We can talk politics over grape leaves at home and debate football stats over pizza with friends in the U.S. We can joke in Arabic with our parents and switch to English sarcasm with our coworkers, sometimes in the same sentence. Honestly, half the time we don’t even notice we’re code-switching until someone asks, “Wait, what language was that?”

And while not fitting can feel awkward, it also comes with perks. We’re the cultural multitaskers, able to move easily between spaces that seem worlds apart. One day we’re cooking stuffed grape leaves with our families, the next we’re grabbing Chipotle with friends. We can keep up with Ramadan nights that stretch until dawn, and then show up bright and early for an 8 a.m. lecture. We live in these contradictions daily and instead of confusion, it gives us versatility.

In a way, our puzzle piece tells a bigger story. It shows that identity isn’t about snapping perfectly into place. It’s about being a shape that carries multiple worlds at once. We may not fit perfectly into the original puzzle we came from, and we may never blend seamlessly into America’s, but we bring something neither puzzle has on its own: perspective. The ability to see both sides. To translate, to laugh at the contradictions, to live comfortably in the gray areas.

So yes, we’re the puzzle piece that doesn’t quite fit. But we’re also the piece that makes people stop and look twice. The one that sparks curiosity. The one that reminds everyone that puzzles don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.

And maybe, just maybe, the whole point of being Arab American is not belonging to one puzzle, but creating a whole new picture of our own.

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