Loading ...Family Ties and Arab American College Life
By: Layla Mahmoud / Arab America Contributing Writer
For many Arab American university students, the transition to college life is not just about academics; it’s a cultural balancing act. Moving away from home means navigating newfound independence while maintaining the tight family ties that define Arab culture. Layla Mahmoud, Arab America contributing writer, explores how these students reconcile family expectations with campus life, revealing the creative ways they honor tradition while forging their paths.
Between Two Worlds
Arab American students often live in two realities. On campus, they live in a fast paced environment and are much more dependent on themselves. At home, they come from communities that prioritize collective responsibility, parental respect, and emotional support. For these students, staying connected to family isn’t optional. It’s essential. However, managing constant communication, family obligations, and cultural expectations from afar requires intention and resilience.
The Art of Daily Check-Ins
One of the most common ways students maintain family ties is through regular check-ins. Daily phone calls, messages, or FaceTime sessions are a lifeline. Some students share updates while walking to class, cooking dinner, or during late-night study breaks. These rituals go beyond small talk; they’re expressions of loyalty and love. Even just sending a voice note saying “Saba7 el kheir” (Good morning) can feel like a bridge to home.
Balancing Independence and Expectations
For Arab American students, college is a time to explore independence while remaining deeply connected to family values. Many students find themselves navigating family expectations around things like curfews, dress, or social life with care and respect. Rather than seeing these expectations as restrictions, some students view them as rooted in love and protection. They find thoughtful ways to communicate their evolving needs, whether by sharing their experiences or introducing their families to campus life. This balancing act, while sometimes complex, often strengthens their ability to adapt, empathize, and grow into adults who can honor both their roots and their personal journey.
Cultural Expectations
Family roles and expectations often differ based on gender, and Arab American students are mindful of these dynamics as they move through college life. Daughters, in particular, may feel a stronger sense of responsibility to stay closely connected with their families and uphold cultural values. At the same time, sons might experience different forms of pressure, such as academic or leadership expectations. Rather than viewing these roles as burdens, many students recognize them as expressions of love, care, and trust. They respond with understanding and creativity, and find ways to meet their family’s hopes while also embracing their individuality. These experiences help shape their cultural pride and ability to navigate new social settings with grace.
Faith and Familiarity
Maintaining culture through food and religion helps Arab American students feel grounded. Many recreate home-cooked meals in dorm kitchens. Religious practices, like praying or fasting during Ramadan, become acts of connection. Students may call their moms to ask how to cook a dish or FaceTime during iftar so they can break their fast together. These small rituals become powerful tools for emotional and cultural connectivity.
Navigating Guilt and Gratitude
Many Arab American students often feel guilty for missing holidays and not being present for their families as frequently as they would like. At the same time, they feel immense gratitude for their families’ sacrifices. Navigating this emotional mix is part of the college journey. Some seek support in cultural clubs or mental health services. Others journal, pray, or confide in trusted friends who understand the stakes.
Redefining Connection on Their Own Terms
Despite the challenges, Arab American students are redefining what it means to be close to family. Some schedule weekly calls with siblings. Others organize visits home on long weekends or holidays, even if it means skipping a spring break trip. Some create shared playlists or family group chats filled with memes and prayers. They are creating new ways to honor old ties by modernizing the concept of family without severing it.
Sources:
- Awad, G. H., Amayreh, W. M., & Reilly, E. D. (2017). Contemporary Arab American psychology. In A. W. Blume (Ed.), Social issues in living color: Challenges and solutions from the perspective of ethnic minority psychology: Overview and interpersonal issues (pp. 29–47). Praeger/ABC-CLIO.
- Pew Research Center. Religious Beliefs and Practices. 26 July 2017, https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2017/07/26/religious-beliefs-and-practices/.
- Kwaik, Nada. The Educational Experiences of Arab American Students. Samuel DeWitt Proctor Institute for Leadership, Equity, & Justice, Rutgers University, Sept. 2022. https://proctor.gse.rutgers.edu/sites/default/files/Nada%20Kwaik_Research%20Brief_Final_V6.pdf
Want more articles like this? Sign up for our e-newsletter!
Check out our blog here!