12 Acts Arab Americans Shouldn't Do While Flying for the Holidays
BY: Nisreen Eadeh/Staff Writer
With Christmas and the New Year around the corner, many Arab Americans are getting ready to fly across the country to be with family. Here are a few tips of advice we’ve learned over the years that can help you survive the airports this holiday season.
1. Don’t speak Arabic
Who you’ll scare: Flight Attendants
This tip is especially important for anyone flying Southwest Airlines. They seem to have the hardest time deciphering normal language from actual threats.
2. Don’t let your beard grow out
Who you’ll scare: Racists
Even though beards are making a comeback among younger Americans, anyone with tan or brown skin will look suspicious with the trendy facial hair.
3. Don’t wear your kuffiyah
Who you’ll scare: Israel lovers
We love wearing kuffiyehs because they’re warm and match with any outfit, but to that Israel lover sitting behind you, you’re just another terrorist.
4. Don’t wear sunglasses
Who you’ll scare: TSA and anyone who thinks wearing sunglasses indoors is a crime
TSA is looking for the crazy in people’s eyes so let your pupils breathe!
5. Don’t carry just one small bag
Who you’ll scare: TSA
TSA is very suspicious of anyone who looks a little brown and packs light. To them, that means you don’t have plans to come back!
6. Don’t carry more than two big suitcases
Who you’ll scare: Everyone
No one wants to watch you struggle as you try to take five suitcases home for Christmas because then we feel obligated to help and touching other people’s luggage is a no-no with TSA.
7. Don’t roll your eyes at the additional pat down or security screening
Who you’ll scare: People suffering from “white guilt”
Don’t let this list fool you, Arab Americans have a few friends in the airport: white people who are afraid of being called racist. So don’t roll your eyes and get the white guilt-ers all riled up because in the end, they’re not the ones who will face the punishment.
8. Don’t carry an Arabic newspaper, magazine, or boo
Who you’ll scare: Senior citizens
To many of the older members of American society, it doesn’t matter what you’re reading: if it’s not English, it’s not American.
9. Don’t travel alone
Who you’ll scare: The person at the check-in desk
If you’re alone, the person checking you in for your flight could think you have bad intentions because you’re without friends or family. Try to fly with one white friend to ease the concerns.
10. Don’t travel with 1-3 friends
Who you’ll scare: Your uber driver, the person at the check-in desk, the TSA agents, and everyone in the security line with you.
Three Arab young men walking into an airport together have had problems before. Make the workday easier for everyone you encounter by just not traveling at all.
11. Don’t trip or fall
Who you’ll scare: Anyone who doesn’t realize that “Allah” just means “God”
When Arabs trip or fall, the typical response from others around you is “Allah, Allah, Allah!” If anyone says “Allah” to you, there will be problems from the ignorant person who overhears you saying the word.
12. Don’t carry kishek
Who you’ll scare: The DEA
Wrapped kishek looks an awful lot like drugs to some who don’t know about the sacred cheese. Don’t let anyone think you’re a drug lord or take away that precious cheese!