Mother, Can You Hear Me?
BY: Sam Shihadeh/Contributing Writer
Mom, this year on Mother’s Day, I feel compelled to write you this letter which you will not be able to hold. For many years, I expressed to you my wishes, talked to you, held your hand, thanked you, hugged and kissed you. When I gave you a gift, I remember you smiling and saying, “God bless you, all that I need is your happiness.” These words keep ringing in my ears this Mother’s Day!
I want to wish you a very Happy Mother’s Day in Heaven. This must be a very special one for you, as you are reunited with Dad, Uncle Abed, Aunt Evelyn, as well as Sido and Siti. For us down here, it is a tough one as we do not get to see you.
Mom, I miss you so much!
I often forget that you are no longer with us. I wake up and find myself wanting to call and check up on you, visit you, or even call the hospital to check on your vitals. These last couple months have not been easy; I am still coping with your loss. It’s the hardest thing I have to deal with.
Tears often roll down my face when I hear my son, Abraham, running around the house calling out for you, “Taita, Taita you are in Heaven now.” Seeing the kids, always made you smile, even up until your last few days, when you were very ill, you still attempted to hug and feed them.
I think of the Kaek date cookies you make for the family and me; I sure missed them this Easter. Also, I miss gratefully the delicious Mahshi/stuffed kousa, rolled grape leaves, and many other Arab dishes. Mom, you always showed your love to family and friends, through food. You made sure we ate whenever we walked into your home. Whether we were hungry or not, you made sure we ate something because you never took “NO” for an answer.
Mom, often tears roll down my face while driving by the hospital. The only comfort I have is that you’re no longer suffering and in pain. It was difficult to see you trying to beat cancer for the second time, go through multiple surgeries, bi-weekly chemo treatments, and radiation.
No matter what your pain level was, you maintained a high spirit and always remained optimistic, smiling, and actually looked forward to your Monday appointments. To say that you were a fighter is an understatement.
You beat many odds and you overcame so much in your life. You were very resilient and always determined. I often wonder how you did it. I remember you telling my siblings, Joann and Susan, and me how to never give up; you said it first: “when there is a will, there is a way.”
Thank you Mom for being such an amazing, caring, and selfless mother. You showed me what it means to be humble. You were always considerate, accommodating, and very generous. From my early childhood years, while playing with my friends in the yard, to going out late at night, and even while married with kids, I always heard you saying: “dearbalak” (be careful) habeebi; this meant so much to me.
Mom, the beloved family and me are fine; so don’t you be concerned or worried about our wellbeing. You taught us closeness and how to take care of each other. You taught us hospitality and how to say: Ahlan wa Sahlan/welcome or Itfadal, and say it from the heart, a big heart that you had. All your family and friends, including your St. George family, all appreciate your love, compassion, consideration, and hospitality.
Mom, again, thank you for being that light that will always shine down on us. We love you and may God rest your soul… Until we meet again…
Oh, guess what? Mariam is trying to core the Kousa/squash and stuffing it the way you taught her! We’ll see, I’ll let you know if it is as good as the ones you made!
Mom even though you are far, I know you can hear me 🙂
